(This piece was written for Red Room. Their topic of the week: "What what would Franz Kafka blog about if he were alive today?" Not sure if I captured some of the elements of his writing but I tried.)

The first time I see him, he is leaning against his… Read full post »

The Scene:

A winter Sunday at the Jersey Shore. Waves are big, messy and a little dangerous. Water temperature - 40 degrees. Air temp, about the same.

The Players:

My three surfing friends: Sunday, Pete and Clint (with ass crack showing). And me. (Photos from last summer.)

 

 

 

%I… Read full post »

 

Winter of 76...or was it '77? from Beth Mann on Vimeo.

This touching monologue is just one of Beth Mann's finer pieces. It's from a VERY indie film entitled "The Winter of 76...or was it 77?"

Note the force, the intensity behind her acting - the way she shifts from…

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I recently received a professional invitation by the staff at the Rock and Roll Hall of Shame and Open Salon's MJWycha to partake in their latest list.

We spent long and hazardous hours exposed to tunes that are considered crimes committed against rock. This includes good bands gone band and bad bands… Read full post »

 

Our next installation of Silly Lists of Nothingness includes perplexing phrases that never really made sense. Sure, they probably stem from the Middle Ages or whatever - but the point is, we're still baffled.

And no, we don't want any explanations, thank you. We pre…

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Some think sexiness is in the eye of the beholder. But is it? Here at Silly Lists of Nothingness, we say its an exacting science that can be proved in labs with women in white coats using complex formulas that are beyond you,…

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“So how’s it feel having sex with a dead man?”

“Good,” I gasp. “Very good.”

We laugh at the gallows’s humor. We can make jokes while having sex. We’re at that point with one another.

Soon the laughing makes way to sighs and moans. A t…

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The Rules:

1. Two celebrities face-off in an imaginary fight.
2. Both are in their prime.
3. No weapons can be used.

Points in Sinatra's Favor:

• Sinatra was expelled from
… Read full post »

I don’t even like Heath Ledger. But there he is, kneeling over me in bed, his shirt unbuttoned, wondering what to do next. Well, I can’t be sure it’s actually him. He is very Heathlike, that’s for sure. And that is good enough for me.

We are friends. I don’… Read full post »

 

Are you the workhorse in most of your relationships? Are you initiating almost every conversation and maintaining every connection in your life? Are you sick and tired of the one-sidedness and unrequitedness of it all?

Yes, it's as if you’ve been doing this mad juggling act…

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Whenever someone starts a sentence with “Men are…” or “Women always…”, I cringe. Sweeping generalizations about the sexes are silly at this point. We’re all bleeding into one another, changing, morphing. Plus, these stereotypes tend to be sexi… Read full post »

I’m not sure why you stopped talking to me. It happened slowly, methodically, like rust. There was no big fall-out, no noteworthy event. Suddenly, you and I were no longer speaking. The divide formed.

Women are weird. They’re passivity runs deep. But you and I are different. We&rsqu… Read full post »

Unchecked children drive me nuts. When I have to tell someone's kid to rein it in, I want to send a bill to the parents for services rendered. So when I went to the block party at the end of the street this Labor Day weekend, the last thing I wanted… Read full post »

This week's Silly List of Nothingness is composed of people (and some non-people) who look like they're supposed to. They were named correctly. You look at them and say, "Yep, that sounds about right."

Contributions by Ms. Ruby Lawrence.

1. Bob Seger

 

2. Margaret Thatcher



3. Abraham… Read full post »

So if you've kept up with my last two posts, you'll know that I recently competed in The Coquina Jam, an all-female surf competition held at the Jersey shore. Loaded with worry and self-doubt, I almost pulled out. Luckily, I stuck it out and experienced the thrill of victory and the
…

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I've always been amazed and often disturbed by the ways people send you messages - the real messages they want to send your way, whether conscious or not. Nowhere has this been more evident as of late than with this upcoming surf competition at 5:00 today.

I've… Read full post »

 

1. We Stopped Bagging our Own Groceries   

Perhaps it was different where you came from, but where I grew up, we worked with the cashier. It was our food after all and besides, it saved time for you, the cashier and the poor sap behind you. Now people mindlessly… Read full post »

Amanda dreams of riding undulating silver worms in the desert. She is wearing ornate filigree glasses and talks with Egyptian women, somehow knowing the language. She has wild orgies with ever-changing partners. She is suddenly a man, then back to a woman, then a man again. Body parts are made… Read full post »

Being “set up” with someone has unnerved me since my dating life began in kindergarten. I’ve never been open to matchmaking and probably never will. Perhaps it shows a real closed-mindedness on my behalf. More likely, I just find it distasteful and patronizing.

Undoubtedly (an… Read full post »